Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
