The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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