I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
