You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
