also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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