It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone came in the potted fern
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
