he shaved USA in his pubs
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
