I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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