Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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