break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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