best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
