She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
