just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
