So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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