You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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