I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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