i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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