I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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