11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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