went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I am mentally ready for anal.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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