dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Actions speak louder than pants.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
