Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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