put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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