I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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