Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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