Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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