Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
