...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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