Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
