im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
