Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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