Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
