i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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