i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize