i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You made out with two different species that night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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