No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
