Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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