I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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