Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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