Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
