So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize