Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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