chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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