Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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