i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
