I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
