If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize