So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I will pee on everything he values.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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