just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
