I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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