His pubic hair was longer than his dick
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
