last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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