5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
