now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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