Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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