Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
