oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
