Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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