Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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